annie-arya:

Losing a child is a…its a unique kind of pain. The pain is…its spectacular. You know what? If you told me that you could take that pain away I’m not sure that I’d want you to because its all I’ve got left. I want to feel that pain and I deserve to feel that pain because I should have known. She was my little girl and I should have known that she was in danger. I should have known that she was scared because I’m her mum. 

It all comes back, everything you did. Its just you in that room with that person and its so much easier to go back and drink again. Lose yourself again so you don’t have to face it.